After a Relationship Break-up
How to Get Over a Break-up
Getting over a breakup is not always easy, regardless of who is to blame for the break up in the first place, this is something that, after being a couple for however long, you suddenly find yourself on your own completely. After a long time of being together, you may find yourself a single parent or unexpectedly alone in your later years after spending almost a lifetime together – the hurt and the pain is the same. A lot of the time we are told we should go out and meet people, we should be doing this or that and whilst yes, these things are helpful, we have to still allow ourselves time to grieve for the relationship, regardless of whether it was good or bad. It is grieving which then gives us time to adjust, to accept, and to understand what has happened, and allow ourselves the healing time to process this.
Moving on from a relationship isn’t always easy. However, once we have grieved for it, we can then allow ourselves some time to look at what our future holds. Our next step is to detach ourselves from being an “us” and to revel or embrace the fact, that you are an “I”. You can have a lot of fun with this, because if you look at it in the manner of; “well now I can do that thing that I always wanted to do ” whether it was to go on a trekking holiday that your partner point-blank refused to do, or whether it was to get a dog, which you weren’t able to do before, because of your other half.
Moving on means moving forward with what you want to do – for your life. To make you happier, where you can be selfish, thinking solely of yourself and that’s not such a bad thing, as long as you are not causing detriment to others along the way. The thing to remember here is, that because you’re on your own for the moment, doesn’t mean you’ll be on your own forever. So, whilst you are free single, and carefree – have a field day! If you have responsibilities, then yes of course, you need to make sure that all those who are affected by the break up, have their own time and space, in which to adjust. Sometimes this can be helped by counselling from professionals, but there is many different ways of help out there, for all different situations.
“Time is a great healer…”
How to be Positive
There are a lot of clichés on how to be positive, and yes, I will probably give you some of those, but for the most part, if you look at this as a new beginning and a new chance to have the life that you really wanted, then that by itself is a positive way of thinking. I appreciate that sadly some people may be devastated at the fact that the break up has left them in a situation that they were not expecting, or has left them in a lot of debt or emotional struggle, but for everything that happens, there is always something positive that you can find in any given situation, by trusting in your own strength and ability, to have that positive frame of mind.
Here comes positive cliché number one – ” time is a great healer”, also “there are plenty more fish in the sea”. With that said, it’s time to move forward. Don’t keep looking at their Facebook page or social media accounts. If you find yourself constantly thinking of them, then now would be a good time to remind yourself of all the things that used to drive you crazy. That is normally enough for you to think, yes this is a good thing that’s happened. Yes, you may have pain and hurt, but it’s important for you to bring in light so that you can move on in a positive manner. Being positive is not always easy but it is only as difficult as you make it. So, when you start to feel that you’re wobbling, remember this is your fresh start – for you to do what you want, when you want, exactly how you want to do it.